So you thought your teenage years were confusing, that is, until you entered your twenties. Here comes a whole new world – one where some of your friends are getting married and having kids, some are travelling the world, some are battling illness, some you haven’t even heard from because they’ve dropped off the face of the Earth. Your twenties can be one of the most confusing times, but also one of the most magical times. This is the start of your adult life, this is where you begin to have a taste of forging your own path, trying new opportunities, and ultimately building a life you desire. Sometimes it can feel a little lonely and unpleasant while navigating this time, so I’ve compiled a list of 10 things women in their twenties need to hear (just in case you doubted yourself for a second!)
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10 Things Women in Their Twenties Need to Hear
The list of 10 things women in their twenties need to hear is inspired by some of the shared woes we go through, complaints from friends, and things we shouldn’t be ashamed of. I hope you find these words comforting and inspiring.
1. You’re Exactly Where You Need to Be
There’s a preconceived notion that there is an existing timeline – the one where you finish high school, college, meet your dream partner, get married buy a house and have 2.75 kids and retire at 55. Let’s just kick that crap out the window.
There is no set timeline for you – whether this is your dream and you’ve followed it to a T, or whether you have taken many a detours along the way, there’s no right or wrong way to live. Progress isn’t linear, life happens, and people grow and change. What you want at the start of your twenties may change throughout the course of, and you may find yourself falling in love with a different path along the way.
Wherever your dreams and aspirations, career, desires or friends/family take you, know that you are on the right path. Take comfort in knowing that you’re exactly where you need to be at this time. Know that you are loved, wildly capable and you have the power to change the plan and reset the sails at any time.
2. You Are Enough
Your uniqueness, talent and being is unmatched by any other. For anyone that’s made you feel less than, not enough, or unimportant – rid yourself of those thoughts. You are enough. Whatever you choose to do is enough. Fulfilling your own dreams is enough.
You don’t need to take on anyone else’s plan or idea of what and or who you should become. Whatever path you choose for yourself is more than plenty. Embrace being you.
3. It’s Okay to Not Have it All Figured Out
I’m going to let you in on a little secret – there is no such thing as having it all figured out. You may think you do, but then the universe will throw you a wrench or an unexpected opportunity.
Life is always changing and there are unforeseen circumstances. It’s absolutely okay to have a plan, just know the plan may change. Be prepared for the unexpected, and don’t feel gutted if the plan needs to change. Keep the goals front and foremost, but prepare for the path and journey along the way to vary.
4. Your Goals and Aspirations are Valid
Whether you want to pick up and move to Tahiti tomorrow, quit your job and start up your dream job of owning a fishing boat, or simply decide you’re going to go out and commit to a goal you’ve been dreaming of, do it. When it comes to making yourself happy, it doesn’t have to make sense nor concern the opinions of others.
Often times we get wrapped up in the opinion web. Whether we ask people for their opinions or we received them unsolicitedly, we end up getting a barrage of thoughts and advice that can hinder and cloud our judgement. Know that your goals and aspirations are valid, and as long as you have a solid plan to reach them, don’t pay much mind to what others have to say about it.
5. It’s Okay to Not Want Children
If this is something you’ve been thinking about but are too afraid to admit for the backlash, know this is valid. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, nor do you need to feel guilty for not wanting it. Your body and mind are your vessel, what you choose to do with yourself is of your utmost choice.It’s not your responsibility to make other people understand your choices.
Embrace this part of you, for it is part of who you are. There is nothing wrong with just being you and having other focuses/aspirations.
6. There’s Nothing Wrong With Distancing Yourself From People and Things that No Longer Serve a Purpose in Your Life
Toxic environments stunt our personal growth, can leave us with negative thoughts and cause undue stress. Your direct environment is an extension of your mindset. Where you live, work, eat, and play is just as important as your internal environment.
Removing yourself from toxic situations and people keeps your environment clear and your energy intact. This way you protect yourself from the negative, draining aspects some people and environments can possess. There is nothing wrong with taking yourself out of situations/relationships that no longer serve you, and cause problems in your day to day life.
7. Do the Damn Thing Already
If there’s something you’ve had your mind on for quite some time, or have a feeling that you just can’t shake – you need to do whatever it is and get it over with!
We as humans are guilty of getting into our own heads and sabotaging ourselves. As soon as we get ready to leave our comfort zone, we get a little nervous or scared, afraid it won’t work out. The best growth happens to us outside of this comfort zone, and it’s so important to constantly put ourselves into situations where we test our limits.
If there’s something you want to do but can’t go a day without thinking about it, maybe it’s time to explore that option. Whether it’s a move within a relationship, your career, your physical residence – whatever it is, it’s worth exploring. Believe it or not, sometimes it’s easier to do the thing that scares you most than live a life of wondering and regret!
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8. There is No Shame in Enjoying, Talking About or Simply Having Sex
Women are allowed to enjoy sex. Period. There is still a strong stigma associated with women and sex, that being that women who talk about/enjoy sex are often viewed as promiscuous, ‘dirty’ or unworthy of respect. All of this is just wrong, and I encourage you to break away from that stigma and start talking!
Enjoying sex does not make you ‘dirty’ or wrong. Neither does talking about it. Sex is a basic human need by both men and women, so why should women be shamed for engaging in sexual activity while men are being applauded for it?
We’re moving away from an era where talking about sex is considered taboo or shameful. Embracing conversations about sex creates a space for them to be considered everyday conversation. I encourage you to embrace the part of you that enjoys sex, and isn’t afraid to openly discuss sex with your partners and friends.
I love this article from a couple years ago. This is an article about 6 women who openly talk about sex and why they do it (some very powerful quotes can be pulled from here!)
9. Experiment as Much as You Can
Whether this means changing careers, travelling, moving cities, different friend groups, sex etc., experiment as much as you can. You will never know what you like and don’t like unless you try it.
Often times we’re too afraid to make moves in our lives because we’re afraid of the backlash, the fallout or the possibility of failure. Get in the habit of constantly trying new things and throwing yourself into situations. You may never be able to shake the feeling of being nervous, but over time trying new things will become a habit and will create less anxiety around trying something new!
The only time you fail is when you quit before you even start, or don’t even bother trying. There is something to be learned and appreciated from every thing you do!
10. Learning to Love Yourself is One of the Best Things You Can do For Yourself
My favourite one on this list – just love yourself. I get it, it’s hard. Sometimes there are things we don’t want to love about ourselves, some things take longer than others to accept about ourselves. But at the end of the day, your body is your forever home. Your body and mind are apart of you, and learning to love the very things that make you, you are so important.
Life is both the longest and shortest thing you can do, and to walk around for a lifetime not loving yourself is one of the longest damn things you can do. Start to embrace the things you love about yourself, work on changing the things you don’t like or don’t deem necessary anymore. Work on yourself every day. Treat yourself with respect, kindness and empathy. Treat yourself. Indulge in everyday moments of bliss. Speak beautifully to yourself. Recognize your flaws. Accept you are going to make mistakes.
Learning to love yourself isn’t an overnight express train, it’s a lifelong journey that involves you to constantly learn to accept yourself as you grow and change.
I could have written over a hundred things I wanted you to hear in your twenties, but I settled on 10. If you can take away anything from this list, even just one thing that sticks with you, make a habit of remembering it and revisiting it often. 10 Things Women in Their Twenties Need to Hear was meant to empower you and draw attention to common feelings and stigmas associated with young women. Take the time to remember you are human, flawed and still worthy of the utmost amount of love from yourself and others around you.
Tell me which thing was your favourite to hear? What’s something you think all women in their twenties should hear? Tell me in the comments!