There’s no doubt that as we frolic through life we go through ups and downs. Like the climate we live in, who we are changes in the ebb and flow of life. We individually go through our own seasons of change, growth, setbacks and flourishing. Of course this is natural, but sometimes we can get stuck in those ruts and lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. We can become so absorbed in the wrongs and the mishaps that we lose sight of our wins, our growth and our triumphs. I want you to know that’s all normal and I’m also going to show you how to become the best version of yourself (even in those times of doubt).
This post isn’t preaching about being happy-go-lucky and excelling at all hours of the day. What I’m trying to do is show you how to be the best version of yourself even when you feel like life is kicking you when you’re down. You can overcome the challenges, the ruts, and the act of hitting rock bottom. Let me show you how to become the best version of yourself so that you can see yourself through the rough and come out that much stronger. Let’s start by tackling the controversial issue of having a positive mindset.
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What it is
Having a positive mindset or outlook is essentially seeing the glass half full, finding the silver lining, and understanding that there is a bright-side to life. Positive thinking is merely seeing the upside to poor situations, believing there is a positive outcome and making the most out of what you have.
What it isn’t
Unfortunately, having a positive mindset has gotten a bad name because it sounds like a blanket statement. Having a positive mindset isn’t being happy 24/7, only saying positive things, or being so chipper that no one within a 5 mile radius can stand you. It isn’t the absence of other emotions nor is it the ignorance of negative situations or outcomes.
Why Having a Positive Mindset is So Important
Your mindset ultimately manifests the environment you live in. Your thoughts, goals, dreams, ambitions and actions are powered by your mind. If your mind is full of negative, glass half empty, can’ts and won’ts, your reality will ultimately reflect your inner dialogue. Creating a negative mindset and outlook on life ultimately slows down your ability to achieve your goals and dreams and holds you back from trying new things, embracing change and propelling yourself forward.
Just a Quick Recap
To make sure we’re all on the same page I want to quickly paraphrase the last little bit (just so it’s drilled into you that much more).
Positive thinking is not the absence of other emotions nor is it being happy all the time, positive thinking is being able to see the brighter side of situations, find the silver lining and believe you are capable of achieving your greatest desires.
Creating a negative mindset manifests into creating a negative reality, which will in turn dampen your outlook on life and hold you back from opportunities, achieving goals and creating the life you want.
Creating the best version of yourself starts with altering your mindset. Your thoughts are the most powerful inner compass you have. Manifest positive thoughts, and you will shape your reality.
Now think of becoming the best version of yourself as a house. A positive mindset is the foundation needed to support the rest of the framework. Typically, a house has more than just a foundation to it. It still needs a frame, dry-wall, a roof, windows, doors, a comfy chair etc. The foundation (positive mindset) needs to be laid down to support the whole house, but it isn’t the entire house. Below is a list of things that need to be added to the foundation in order to flourish as the best version of yourself.
How to Become the Best Version of Yourself
Get to Know Yourself
What are your deepest desires? What are your goals? What do you want to do with your time on this planet? Take out a piece of paper and jot down these things. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Write down what makes you, you. Note the deepest (and wildest) desires you have. Maybe you want to open a winery, move to Japan, start a blog, create an e-book, become a teacher. Whatever it is, write. it. down.
Why do I want you to do this? If you’re in a constant state of “I don’t know what I want to do with my life” you’re going to be perpetually unsatisfied. Confusion and lack of clear vision can be discomforting and leave you feeling irritable and exhausted. Pave yourself a clear path and start working towards your deepest desires. If you’re drawing a blank when you take out that piece of paper, start by jotting down things you thoroughly enjoy and see if the ideas start flowing.
Make Some Goals that Are Going to Get You to Where You Want to Be
At some point you need a little bit of tough love, and it may just be coming from me. You are a citizen of your own life. You are ultimately responsible for your outcomes. You are responsible for the way you react to things, how you take charge of situations, and how you set the sails to determine your own course. No one is coming to save you. No one is coming to decide the things you can’t seem to. You have to save yourself.
Goals and creating plans are a great way to start that process of getting you from point A to point B. The goals and plans don’t have to be perfect, but you need to get them down.
Your goals should be realistic and timely. For example: I want to start my blog and have it up and running in seven days. The more specific your goals, the better. Avoid broad/vague goals (aka. I want to start a blog someday). Break. it. down. Turn that ‘I want to start a blog someday’ into ,I want to start a travel and lifestyle blog, and I want to have it up and running in one month from now’.
Then you can start the plan. Don’t worry too much about perfecting the plan. Get down a plan to start, and start. Your plan will most likely change and grow as you go, which is perfectly normal. Your plan is essentially the catalyst to get you off your butt and working on your goals.
Embrace Change, Even if it Feels Uncomfortable
In order to see changes, unfortunately you have to leave your comfort zone. We as humans don’t love change. We secretly love our worn in grooves, our cozy ruts and our all too familiar lines and excuses. But, that won’t get us to where we need to be. Ask yourself if the discomfort of change is more or less painful than staying the same and not achieving your wildest dreams.
Change is uncomfortable. This is normal. I promise if you ride out the discomfort you will achieve so many great things.
Change is uncomfortable, but so is wishing you had started when you said you would.
Distance Yourself from What No Longer Serves You
This one can be a little bit trickier especially when it comes to people in our lives who do us a great disservice. The truth is, people are uncomfortable with change, but not just within themselves. When they see others going off and dreaming of achieving great things, it makes them uncomfortable. It serves as a reminder that they aren’t doing anything to better themselves.
Distance yourself from people who create a toxic environment for you. Remove things from your life that hold you back physically, financially and emotionally. Remove the distracting clutter and free up your horizon to be able to see all the great things coming your way.
Invest in Yourself
You are your greatest asset. Invest in yourself! You’re never at a place in your life where it’s too late to learn something new, re-invest in yourself or add to your existing body of knowledge. Investing in yourself is never wasted money, time or effort.
There are many ways you can invest in yourself (many we often don’t think about!). You can invest in your health (eating nutritious food, exercising, getting enough sleep etc.), your knowledge (taking a course, reading a personal development book, trying something new etc.), your relationships (reconnect with old friends who bring you joy, spend more time with family, etc.) or your finances, your spirituality, your lifestyle, your job etc. There are so many ways to fill your own cup first that I don’t have enough space to write them all down, but encourage you to explore and participate in!
My personal favourite way to invest in myself is read 1 chapter of a personal development book each day. 1 Chapter (usually 10 pages depending on the book) takes virtually no time out of my day, and makes me that much richer for it. My two personal favourites are The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, and You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero.
Get in Touch With Your Emotional Health
Like I said earlier, having a positive mindset isn’t the absence of emotions. Emotions are an expression of our feelings, and as humans we have a wide range of emotions. It’s okay to feel sad, upset, disappointed, hurt, happy, elated, confused, tired etc. All of these emotions are normal and are a part of our mental and emotional health.
I encourage you to feel the feelings you have when you have them. Acknowledge to yourself that you’re having an off day. Acknowledge your feelings and that they do exist. Allow yourself the freedom to feel your emotions. Allow yourself the emotional outlet you deserve.
Work at Your Goals Each and Every Day
Consistency is key in a lot of things, but especially in getting yourself to where you want to go. Think of getting from point A to point B, but walking is your only method. If you’re consistently taking 10 steps every day, you will get to point B. If you give up, lie down and call it a day. If you decide to sit on it for long periods of time because you look at the total amount of steps to get there is unfathomable. Or if you spend all your time looking for an alternate plan to fast track you to point B, you will never get there, or you’ll get there at a drastically reduced rate.
Consistency is carving out time each day to work on your goals, knowing that you will. It’s having the faith that you will reach point B, even if you’re not there in lightening speed. Take the time each day to work at yourself and your goals and patiently wait to see the results over time.
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One Last Thing
Did you notice throughout this post that there’s no promise of a lifetime of sunshine and rainbows? Did you notice how there was no ground-breaking, Earth-shattering reveal of how to make yourself a stellar person? That’s because there isn’t. Me showing you how to become the best version of yourself isn’t a destination, it’s a continuous journey. It’s:
1. Manifesting a positive mindset to shift your way of thinking
2. Making shifts and adjustments in your life as you go to make small changes and improvements.
3. Knowing you’ll reach your destination, even when there are bad days, ruts and setbacks.
4. Consistently working at being the best you that you can be.
Rarely ever in life do things happen in big leaps and bounds, but often in small, seemingly powerless changes!